In my thinking, happiness is not the key thing. Happiness is a feeling that is the result of getting some other things right. Our marriage is pretty happy right now and has been for some years. But it has not always been so.

Nevertheless, we have always been committed to each other. We have worked out the hurts and pains and frustrations that have come out along the way. We have asked for and given forgiveness, grace, and mercy. We have owned our own junk and worked on improving who we are as individuals. We have asked the question, “What is it like to be married to me?” and listened and acted to make it better.

Now, we have confidence in each other; we hurt each other less often and less deeply; we enjoy each other more. I guess that is what a happy marriage is.

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